No Straight Line To Be Found

So i woke up kinda groggy this morning, i had went to bed late the night before and still had to wake up early this morning to watch my sister. Then during breakfast i got a call from V, he asked if he could come over today and i said no at first because i wasn't really in the mood to see anyone or to be a host or whatever, but he was really insistent and i just gave up and said yes. When he got here later we watched some tv while Ren played around the house. It was different from all the other time's he's been over, and it sounds kinda dumb explaining it in words, but when he was about to leave (He has work today) he said he needed to tell me something and its been bothering him for some time now, so i laid there and waited for him to continue (I was laying on the couch and he was resting against my legs on the floor) First he asked me if i was a virgin and i told him straight up that i wasn't. and then after talking about that for a while he told me that he has kids O_O *shocked* but they live with there mom on the island where he was born. I was kinda shocked at first, but it didn't change how i felt about him. He's a really nice guy....though his car situation is like a thorn in my side -_- but besides that he's great! My friend told me to dumb him, but i cant dumb him because of that! if i had a kid and a guy i was dating dumped me for that I'd feel like shit. So I'm thinking that he was probably so insistent on coming over to tell me that. and it seemed like he was having a hard time letting it out too.

Also when we were talking about the virgin thing he said that he thought i was one and he knows how girls are sensitive about that sorta thing so that's why he was going so easy and taking everything so slow, so now i;m worried if he's going to try and jump my bones now that he knows its not my first time -_-' i hope not, because as much as i would want to sleep with him i want to take things slow because I'm looking for something serious....nothing involving wedding bells but not random play either....know what i mean?

The one & only
DarkEmo

Rejoice

Chole and I finally broke up (again) It was like a roller coaster, but i know this is the final time, first she was sad, then mad and then her and her cousin kept calling my phone and texting me dumb messages through the night. i just sat back and basked in the glory of how stupid they were =] i told her she was acting childish and some of the comments she made, made her sound like she was 2 (She's nowhere near that so no one freak out) she ended up calling me a bitch and hanging up. i always tried to be easy on her, but when saw how stupid she was acting the sarcastic bitch side of me came out and that pissed her off. I feel like a great weight has been lifted off my chest and i can't help but laugh. I hope she doesn't do anything stupid though...she's a bit crazy. Everything feels great...but there's still this air around that feels kinda odd, if you know what i mean. I only have two more weeks left of babysitting so the last weeks of summer I'm going back to school shopping with some friends and hanging out with V....probably

The one & only
DarkEmo

Unexpected Day

So V kept telling me that he was coming over on Monday and i never quite believed it. and just tossed it off and thought something was going to come up and he'd have to cancel. Things did keep coming up, but he still made it over here.....and i was a bit surprised, so much so that i was still wearing my pj short shorts and a tank top, with somewhat bed head going on XD lol, i know, sexy! we watched tv in my room for a while and he fell asleep on my bed >_< *fan girl squeal* and then later when Ren woke up (she was taking a nap when he came) we hung out in the living room watching ren play, finally my parents came home and introductions where tossed around and finally we went downstairs and talked, just the two of us, and we got to learn more about each other, its was ok, and there was quiet moments, but then we're both quiet people, and in the end when i bid him farewell he kissed me in the elevator...where there's a camera!!! >_< i felt like i didn't know what i was doing though (With the kissing) but it was ok, he's good at taking the lead. and then he rode it back up with me and i went home, and he left....it was a kinda boring day, but i liked the ending. My mom said he's not really my type. and the thing is, he isn't compared to all the guys that I've liked before he's different....but maybe this can work, he's a really nice guy, and he's willing to take it slow, and he's ok with my nerdy skills....He's going to be done with college in two months...and I'm starting in a month...will school get in the way of anything? and can i really have sex with him?? and how long is too long for a guy to wait?!?!? so many questions so little time!

The one & only
DarkEmo

P.S. He said he's stop by tomorrow before work to say hey...

Thunderous

Sometimes its hard to stay friends with the people I'm friends with....only some of them...especially dez. In our rough spots i even wonder why we're friends, but after i forget the thought. In my group of friends I'm known as the reliable one. If i say I'm going to do something, i do it, if you ask me to do you a favor you can count on me to do it...but there is usually only one reliable person in a group and that sucks for me because, I'm usually the one getting let down. I woke up pissed and angry today because i got a phone call from dez. I know he's always late for everything so i told him we're going to the mall at 10 when we're really going at one. The call was to tell me that he wouldn't make it in time. Then said he'd be here.....after one. Then later another friend who promised they would come canceled, and then another. and if this was a one time thing I'd be ok with it. but every time we "try" to get together they all cancel and its just rubbing against my last nerve. Why is there no one i can count on!? Why don't i have that one friend or what ever who says they're going to be there and when i show up their there? I'm a punctual person, the kind who shows up early instead of on time and it agitates, which is an understatement, me when i see someone cant do the same for me. Plus its thundering and storming outside and the dark gloomy clouds isn't really what i need to cheer up

The one & only
DarkEmo

Fake out Make out

So V called me and said he needed to talk to me after work, and that he couldn't say it last night because all his friends were around. So the whole afternoon i was thinking about what the hell he wanted to talk about and how i was going to react to each scenario...but with all my guessing i didn't even come close to what he actually wanted. I showed up at where we were suppose to meet and we sat in the car for a while, just talking, and then silence, and then some laughing. Then he said he wanted me to meet his mom, and he wants to meet mine....he couldn't really say that in front of all his 'homeboys' i guess. I was like sure, what do i have to lose right? and then he asked me to kiss him, but i was kinda nervous because I'm not a very good kisser. but he said its ok, and i did, and we kinda sorta made out, after he said that he's a romancer and that he'll wait for me no matter how long (I think he meant by sex) and then before he left he kissed my hand and said i love you....is this a bad sign, or did i end up with a really emotional/sensitive guy? I wonder where we'd go from here???

The one & only
DarkEmo

btw it was so hot in the car and he said "Man, if it wasn't so hot I'd be all over you" also he bit my lip while we made out....does that signal a freak?

Anime Watching

V called me last night and said he got called into work, so he wouldn't be able to make it. So instead can we meet on Friday, i said sure and also explained that my car cant go very far before breaking down, because of the mileage and, he said ok, and that he'd ask a friend for something, but it was kinda hard to understand him because he was mumbling. you know when a persons mouth is too close to the phone so you cant really hear them good...that's what it sounded like he was doing. don't really have much to update about, my mom might have to fly over to the Philippines for work, and i don't really want her to go =[ because its for two weeks. and then that horrible woman who's suppose to be my grandmother is suppose to come down in august because if she's out of the country any longer they take away her green card, and my mom paid a lot of money and went through too much paperwork to let that happen. so my life is going to be hell for the two months that she'll be here -_- . Its kinda hard for me to concentrate and get my thoughts together right now so I'll make another blog if anything else happens =/

The one & only
DarkEmo

Does it Matter?

So Supermarket guy called, I'm just going to start calling him V because supermarket guy is too long...and his name starts with a V. So anyway, he said that he came to my neighborhood with his friend yesterday to see me, but when he called my phone went straight to voice-mail, so i missed my man! lol He's going shopping tomorrow and wanted to invite me with him, but i told him I'm babysitting so he said he'll call after he's done to see if I'm still babysitting and if not then we'll get together and do whatever i want, and he made sure to say he's bring more money, haha. and that he'll pay for my gas so i don't have to worry....which brings me to another point... first of all, I'm never worried about my gas, just worried that my car will break down, because its old and has way to much mileage on it, second of all, apparently I'm driving again, and its making me wonder if he lied about sharing a car with his brother. It kinda irks me that i have to drive all the time, because he's the one who invites me out, and he's the man in the relationship (obviously) so shouldn't he be the driver?? Plus there's that deep mental imprint in my brain about not dating guys without cars because ever since i was little my dad's always told me to never date a guy without a job, money, or a car. but V has a job and money....and sometimes i even see this irritation in my mom's eyes whenever i bring up the fact that I'm driving when i go out with him. So I'm battling with myself, because every time i think of this his points go down and i just want to tell him to stop calling me, but then i think of how nice he is and wonder where we're heading, and it gains him some more points. just so i can see how this plays out....
Here's the real question. "Is it ok for you to drive around your 22yr old college boyfriend, even though he is the one who pays for gas, as well as the date?"

The one & only
DarkEmo