Missing the In-between

Haven't made a blog in a while and that's mostly because i thought everyone would be tired of hearing about Viere, so if you are....you shouldn't read this blog because i talk about him partially. Since my last blog I've finally got a job in the mall. Right now the hours aren't so great but the boss is saying it'll pick up during the holiday. I was hired as a seasonal employee though so I'm hoping that all the hard work that I'm doing now will make them want to keep me as a year round employee. Besides work I'm kinda struggling in school with my math class, but then again math has never been my best subject, and the teacher isn't really that great at going over the problems, so i end up trying to teach myself all of the work. I barley have time for myself now a days because I'm always at school, doing homework, or at work, and the little time i do have off i try to squeeze in Viere, but its hard because he's working and trying to find a place of his own too, so its not like high school dating where you just worry about your boyfriend and friends and then doing homework. Sometimes i feel like I've skipped the college life and took an express train straight to adulthood! Viere asked me to move in with him when he buys his place (right now he has a roommate so he's trying to get a place for just himself) he asked me twice, the first time i didn't really answer and then the second time, i told him no, but in more words though, he was kinda sad but he understood because i told him i wanted to save up some of my own money first before i moved out of my parents place. I kinda do want to move in with him, but its way too soon so i know its a bad idea. There are lots of things that i want to do with him but its not in my time line to become a doctor. So I'm trying to stick to my plan, and he's being patient with me, but i wonder for how long, because everything is always when I'm free or when i feel like it. We need to compromise, but i don't think that will happen until a few things clear up in both of our lives. Maybe he's being so understanding because I'm still in school right now....any way he said after he saves money for a place and everything he wants to go back to school to become a pilot. Sometimes i wish money wasn't as important as it was. It makes life so hard, the rich stay rich and the poor gets 'poor'er (i know that's not a word but its poetic licenses, you know what it means and that all that matters)

The one & only
DarkEmo

P.S. its been over four months now, i wonder if we'll make it to a year

Tell me this isnt ironic

So Terra called me tonight, and i answered the phone. She calls or texts every now and then, and i respond just to be a good friend, i have Viere and she knows it and i love him to much to even consider being dragged back into that crazy 'relationship' that we had. So anyway, she called to complain about how her gay friend keeps sleeping around with all these guys and cheating on his boyfriends and stuff and how that pisses her off when someone cheats because she's been cheated on before blah blah blah, and i'm just sitting here listening to this thinking "This chick cheated on me while we dated!" and she actually has the nerve to come and call on me to complain about her gay bff cheating? wow. anyway she was trying to seduce me but i wasn't picking up on anything, because i wasn't interested any more and i wasn't a cheater. and then she brought up stories from when we dated and the 'good times' we had, i have that in quotations because i don't really know if you can call those good times....sometimes when i give her the benefit of the doubt she turns around and does something stupid, she even asked me if i still had feelings for her, which i don't. As for me and Viere on regular terms, where more like a regular couple, two weeks into our fourth month...he really wants to get married though because he's kinda been telling people i'm his wife XD not a lot of people though, thanks goodness, i don't think i'd be a good Mrs. Davis. He kinda got irritated with me the other day because he said that i never have time for him, and now that i look back its kinda true. I never wanted to be one of those girls who dump friends for their boyfriend so i was always hanging out with my friends even on days when V was suppose to come over so that he could hang with them too, so we haven't been 'alone' for about three weeks now. Like we hadn't seen each other for about a week because i was busy studying for school and the one day i had off i had a job interview, so finally i had a Thursday to myself and he was suppose to come over (we called each other like every day that week) but when he did come over, two of my other friends came over later to hang out, and i was like "sure why not!" and thats the day that he said i never have time for him because i'm always with my friends. This Sunday i'm suppose to go out with some friends to go get some sushi, but then he called and invited me to this carnival thing thats on the same day, so i'm trying to see if i can fit them both in tomorrow, or which ever one i choose. I know if i choose my friends V is probably going to leave, since i'm bailly with him and always with them, and i know if i choose him, my friends might think i'm 'one of those girls'.....i'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. Certain people think i should break up with V because of a few none important things, but i'm sticking strongly to my own feelings now, and staying with him. Usually i use other people's advice to do things, but with this, i'm following my heart and doing what i think i right, and not what others think i should do, because in the end, i'm the one who has to live with the choices, not them.

The one & only

DarkEmo

Foursome's Aren't Always Filled w/Joy

So I had the truck for the day and went out with two of my friends. Viere was suppose to come over earlier that day but he never showed, and when i finally called him (around 4) he said he had actually just woke up. Friday night him and some friends got drunk, and he slept in the whole day, after that we stopped by his place to pick up my ipod because he borrowed it the day before and headed to Sawgrass Mall, he couldn't come because he was going to help his friend shave his head, not Viere....the friend, so anyways while we where at the mall V called back again and asked me if i wanted to hang out later since he couldn't when i cam by earlier and i said sure. So after walking around the mall and then making the long journey back to the parking lot (walking the sawgrass mall is like a months worth of cardio workouts) we went to V's house then i dropped of my two friends. I just wanted to go to his place and blah blah, but he said that his cousin was there with three other girls and he didn't want me to hear that, or see any naked girls walking around, so i was like what ever, i was a bit cranky though because i was tired and was on the road all day so i just wanted to go either to his place or mine and just relax and go to sleep, but instead we went to the house of "The woman who practically raised him" that was his words, and i met his half sister and some more family members. I'm just going to call this lady his step mom, because thats who she was at one point but then his dad remarried....again, to the first step mom that i met. So step-mom B (since she was the second one i met) was just asking me stuff like, where i was from, how long me and Viere's been together, and if he treats me right, and then she was giving him tips about how to remember anniversary's because "thats something women never forget and men should know" which is true, because i do remember the very first day that Viere first asked me out, i even remember the second time he asked me too! (if you remember how we met, then the second asking out thing will make more scene) and finally a family friend got me a necklace from Zales today, so i finally have a new, and really nice necklace to wear instead of the old ones i use to have that was from claire's. Don't really know what else to post, i'm really tired from being out all day, I'm trying to take my mom out to dinner sunday night just for the hell of it and the next time i see Viere will be Thursday, the longest we've been apart.

The one & only

DarkEmo

Sex Conversation Is Different From Sex Talk

Viere came over today, whats new right, and the same as usual. The longer I'm with him the easier it is for me to talk to him about stuff. well the reason why i wanted to make this blog is to talk about this thing that he does during sex sometimes. He's done it a few times before, but today was when i really noticed it. and that is, sometimes he likes to have conversations during sex, and that totally throws me off sometimes. like for example today he had this long conversation, and I'll write it out:
so we're making out and then we start having sex then this
"When's your math test?" I'm thinking WTF?!
"Tomorrow"
"Did you study?"
"yes"
"are you sure?"
"yes"
"What other classes do you have tomorrow?"
"Computers" at this point I've getting pretty agitated.
"That's it?" i give him this look because i really don't think this is the right time to talk about this.
"What? Your lucky i actually care about your school work"
"But do we really have to talk about this now?" he takes the hint and stops having random conversations in the middle of sex, but then later he starts up another conversation! but then cuts it short, its weird because during sex all i think about is sex, and whats going on right then, right in the moment, he's like a multitasking woman....i guess he thinks better during sex, haha
Its pretty hard to put in words the situation for you to see the full extent of its strangeness, lol, also today he asked
"When are we going to get married?"
"I don't know" I never really had any intentions too, so I've never thought about it, he stared back at me and i just repeated "i don't know"
"Then when your done with school will you marry me?" he looked so serious but it was such and out there questions that i had to convince myself that he was kidding, but he didn't look like it.
"Maybe" i replied
"Will you think about it?"
"Yea"
"Promise?"
"....yea" it was weird, because he seemed so serious, i don't think I'm ready for marriage, but i am glad that he intends to be with me that long. but he question did make me realize one thing, and that the fact that, i really do love him, and i never noticed until today.

The one & only
DarkEmo

Feels Great

So it’s been a while since my last blog, and since I’ve been called a bitch, but whatever, everyone has a right to their own opinion, and that’s what makes the world such an angry place sometimes…conflict of idea’s. I’ve been absolutely swamped with homework since starting college and during my free time I’m either sleeping or trying to find a way to hang out with friends (though they’re always busy with homework too, lol) Viere comes over practically every other day and its gotten to the point where I expect him to come XD haha, he’s a bit predictable with that. We’re getting closer and I’m really opening up to him the longer we’re together. On Friday I had to go to the eye doctor and he came with me, and even helped pick out a new pair of glasses for me, so I’m really excited to get them (glasses take like a week to make after you order them) then he stayed with me at home later, because the doctor had put these drops in my eyes that made my pupils dilated so EVERYTHING was blurry and I couldn’t read anything even if it was right in my face. Today I kind of blew off homework and went to the mall with some friends. I ended up buying something at old navy for me and a shirt for Viere that I think would look good. I have to convince him to wear it though because he always buys two sizes too big for himself, and I just got the right size. I’m pretty excited to give it to him tomorrow, he’s coming over for a bit until some of my other friends come over because we’re (me and my friends) are kind of having a girls hang out at my place, So I’m going to force him to put it on then! Lol, OH! And I met Viere’s dad and step mom this weekend, it was a surprise visit, for both me and his parents, so I kinda looked crappy, I just had on a t-shirt, shorts, and my hair was pulled back in a sloppy pony tail XD lol, well it wasn’t really sloppy but it looked like I was going to the supermarket instead of meeting my boyfriends parents. Everything was good, he family seems fine. They’re really hard on him about staying in school and getting a good job, so that’s good, at least he has the drive/push to get that stuff done.

I’ve been searching like made for a job lately to help me pay for college text books, and eventually get a car, so far I’ve had an interview at old navy and they said they’d call in a week, so I’ve still got five days before I hear any news, and then in two weeks I’ve got an interview at bath and body works, I went in today and spoke with the hiring manager, so hopefully that gained me some points, and then I’ve applied to just about everywhere else with a hiring sign. So I just have to wait and see what comes up. I’m praying for the old navy job though because I absolutely love that store. My whole house is filled with old navy stuff!

As for the whole dez thing, I’m over it, but he still wants to ‘talk’ about it, even though we have a million and one times, I guess he won’t think we’ve really talked about it until we’re friends again…anyway today I did some cleaning, just took some stuff out of my room that was his, because I feel, like there’s no point in having it now. One thing I couldn’t throw away though was a picture painting thing he gave me, I couldn’t destroy that because it was art, and not just a pic like the other stuff I tossed, so I was planning on just giving it away tomorrow instead, someone else can look at it. My room kinda has a different vibe to it

The one & only

DarkEmo

Birthday Cakes & Heart Breaks

So today's Viere's 24th birthday =] i bought my man his giant ass condoms and birthday cupcakes (the cashier at the store was looking at me funny when i tossed down condom's, cupcakes, and candles lol) he came over and we hung out and talked, but then all his family kept calling him to wish him happy birthday, then he smothered me in his cake and ate it off me....thats rite....that wasnt a typo, i was a little embarrassed at first, but just went with it, that reminds me, i have to change my sheets, its covered in frosting, and then after we made passionate love for what seemed like hours XD haha, but then i got tired and he was ok with it (so our sex talked worked! =]) later we watched his favorite movie "fight club" and then ordered some Chinese food. it was a good day up until Dez called, but i'll get to that later. So me and Veire spent practically the whole day together and at one point he was like
"Why do i love you so much?" and i said
"I don't know" come on! what the hell am i suppose to say to that on the spot? Now i'm thinking i should of said something like "because i'm a hot commodity" or something dumb/sarcastic like that, and then finally we we're watching tv both stuffed from our food, and a strange number called my phone, i assumed it was Viere's cousin or mother (because they have my number) but it was dez, i've been ignoring his call for weeks and he tricked me with a different number, i've never seen something piss me off more, i told him i was busy but he kept talking about his day and couldn't take the hint that i didn't want to talk to him, and he kept talking and talking but i wasnt really listening to him, and finally Veire said he had to go, he said
"I would stay longer but your friend ruined our day" He was only joking but dez did ruin my day because ever since our fight just hearing his voice pisses me off. Before Viere left he asked if i wanted to go out to lunch with him at TGI Friday's tomorrow and i said yes, i love going out with him =] so anyway, Dez kept blabbing and then asked me whats wrong and i told him straight up, that i was done, and everytime he calls i remember what he did and i can never forget it nor forgive it, so he had this whole crying moment and said he was heart broken and it sounded like he was my boyfriend for years and i broke up with him for nothing, he told me he'd give me two weeks to cool down. Me and Desmond Ward is done, we will never be best friends again and i doubt i'd be regular friends with him now. He's made his mistake and "i'm sorry" wont make me forget it, i've accepted sorry one too many times

The one and only
DarkEmo

Big ass D***

So me and Viere usually get Trojan ultra thin condoms, because it has spermicidal lube (kills sperm on contact) but we ran out and he got regular trojan condoms (way back when i told you he walked is ass to publix) but the times that we used the original kind the condom ripped....all four times -_-' and he said that its harder for him to put it on too, so i told him that i'd go out and buy some...since he got the wrong ones last time who knows what he'll get if i send him again, so now I've got to get his black ass trojan magnum because the other one's are too small. He gets off at 8 tonight and said he might stop by, but i just remembered that i have class tonight from 6 to 9. I guess I'll stop by publix a little later to get the condom's and to tell him that i wont be home tonight. He has tomorrow off but I've got school till around 3.