Is it? or Isn't it?

I told my best friend Dez that i had sex with one night stand Dan because i don't.....i don't keep much secrets from him, but I'm a bit irritated at the fact that now that i told him, that's all he talks about, that and more sex, even though i told him i didn't want to talk about it (its an experience i don't really want to relive) but he says he's happy that there is finally someone he can talk to about this kinda stuff, but is it really ok when the other person is really uncomfortable with it? I don't want to talk about it because sex, and most of my personal life isn't really something i like to tell my friends about in great detail, and this is my first time, I don't want to share it like a huge spectacle, even though i wrote it in a blog and many people can read it, its people i don't know, and i would never have to look into their faces and see their judgment, its my way of telling someone and still being free of the ridicule.....I just hope he understands how much i really don't want to talk about it, and for him to pretend like it never happened in the first place.

The one & only
DarkEmo

Pictures worth a thousand words

so, i slept with one night stand Dan, wasn't much sleeping, but you know what i mean. It was hot, sweaty, and not what i thought it would be... it also wasn't what i thought it wouldn't be either, if that makes any sense. I feel the same as i did before and after the 'deed' and he said that he would call tomorrow, but i don't know, I'm not really that interested anymore. i know how bad that sounds. after everything I'm still trying to get with in a band Steve, i feel as though he would be a better choice, and Dan was kinda an easy lay. I didn't have an orgasm, but being the nerd that i am had looked it up weeks before and know that that's normal for girls during their first time. besides that i was selected to go on this student ambassador thing to go to France, Italy, and England, but its not certain yet because you have to go through a rigorous selection process because your suppose to be 'representing America' plus its a lot of money. I wonder whats going to happen now

oh yea, i took my driving test today and i passed so now i'm a legal driver! =]

The one & only
DarkEmo

Long Story Short

one night stand Dan isn't as out of the picture as i thought.....I'll explain more tomorrow, depending on what happens, lets just say i may need an alibi

Rock Star

I haven't made a blog in a while, i guess i was waiting for something to write about, but some people started to complain (they know who they are!) so I'm making one today on my day off. I haven't heard anything from Dan since Wednesday (of last week) so i want to say its over, but you know how he has a tendency to call right when i think it is. As for In a band Steve, we still talk a lot, and we were suppose to go to the movies this Friday, but he has a meeting with an entertainment director or whatever and has to do a recording with his band. it sucks that he cant come, but I'm happy that his band is getting more popular so there's pros and cons to the situation. Maybe next time we can hang out or one day i can go to one of his recording sessions ^_^ lol......I hope he doesn't think I'm using him because he's famous XD

as for school right now, I've been kept kinda busy with college applications and keeping my grades up. the grades part is easy, but the college applications process is expensive =[

The one & only
DarkEmo

Off Topic

Sometimes i write....a lot, and i've made poems, short stories, and recently i've just finished my very first book. i was really excited and asked my friends to read it (it took some time, because one of them is a VERY slow reader) lol, but i finally got it done. I'm telling you all this because, last night i finally got my book published! but for now it can only be ordered online, but hey, thats a start =] I'm trying to tell everyone about it so i can make some sales XD lol, here's the summary on the back:

This is Amy's last chance to visit her family before finishing her internship in Manhattan, but her holiday break unfortunately turns into a struggle to keep things, or a certain someone, from tearing her and someone she cares about apart.


its only $8.05, and if you want it just click this link




The one & only
DarkEmo

Overworked

I feel so overworked and stressed out lately, even though I've just been telling everyone that school is fine, its kinda hectic. For example, today alone my schedule in school was, study for economic test, get new student I.D. card, head over to guidance councilor for college meeting (only to find out she wasn't there) see the teacher supervisor for the Cougar Pals club, head over and tutor underclassmen in math for peer counseling, take the HOSA chapter 2 test, head over to Anatomy class and finish movie project, only to get another project due on Friday, and FINALLY go to a HOSA meeting after school. -_-' then for homework i have to read chapter 10 and 11 plus finish a packet for the test i have in Econimic's class tomorrow, and i had to study for the Anatomy test i have to take tomorrow as well...its just a lot of stuff to do in just one day and still have time to do anything else. I'm just hoping the week goes by fast so i can get to the weekend....but then again i have classes on Saturdays (only 2 hours) and on Sundays my mom drags me to church most times. it feels like i have no time for myself during the week, that there is always something to do!

Besides that Tee is trying to get me to go on a double date with her Saturday night, because a guy asked her out and she wants to go, but not by herself....-_-' she's always like this. she told me to ask Dan if he wants to come, but i don't know....he doesn't really seem like the movie type, but i promised her that i would still call him tomorrow and ask him anyway, and if he doesn't answer/says no, there's always Steve, if he's out too, then Tee is s.o.o.l. shit out of luck.

The one & only
DarkEmo

One night stand Dan, In a Band Steve

So the thing with Dan and me are same as always, its been about a month since this has all started and sometimes it still seems so surreal, but to be honest, it has given me loads of confidence in certain area's. a few days ago i met this other guy on myspace, Steve, he added me, and what started out as just a 'hi' turned into a 12hr convo about nothing XD lol, he seems like a really cool guy, and i love talking to him, he always makes me laugh ^_^ and we have a lot of things in common. for example, he is about the only person i know that likes the movie 'Lost in Translation' and so do i =] along with other things, he's in a band and lives near by (which is awesome!) and is 20, he'll be 21 in November, hopefully the age difference wont be a problem =D lol! at first i kinda felt strange because of Dan, but hey....no one said we were exclusive!

The one & only
DarkEmo