Not Again

So everything has been good, to the point where i was actually loving it. I was friends with Jamie, even though sometimes Dez would be a mega jerk to him, i still talked to Sara occasionally, we weren't that close to begin with, and Dan was out of the picture. I even had a little side project of trying to get one of my friends to come out of the closest, because she was soooo gay and the only person who didn't know it was her. besides all that nothing else was going on in my life, just living everything as it goes and having fun like a normal teen should. I even lost some weight and got a tattoo. Really everything was going good. looking back now, it was pretty amazing. So today i was getting a bunch of my friends together and asking them to go to the movies with me on Saturday night, and i text a bunch more and even text Dan, even though i knew he wouldn't text back or call, because he didn't even text back on my birthday, that jerk, and then text some more friends, and later this afternoon, none other then Dan's name shows up on my caller i.d., and for some strange reason i pick up.
"Hey Dan"
"Hi" silence...."How are you" you could feel the tension on both sides of the phone, whether it was good or bad i couldn't tell.
"Good" thats all i was really allowing myself to say, i always felt like such a clutz when i spoke to him.
"And your Family?"
"Their good to.....and you?"
"Same"
"I haven't heard from you in a while" i was hoping that this would be where i get closure, where he would finally explain what was going on between us, and what he really wanted...
"....where is the movies?" i tell him where "and what time are you going?" i couldnt beleive that he was actually considering hanging out with my friends
"i don't know yet, but I'll let you know"
"I miss you" here we go again, the line that he always pulls after we dont talk for a while
"oh" i didnt know what else to say
"I haven't been with anyone since i was with you"
"oh, well neither have i, but I'm dealing" i know he's talking about sex, and i don't want to get dragged into that, specially since I'm pmsing XD
"I want to see you"
"i cant"
"Why?"
"because..." i was using pms as an excuse to myself, but really, i just didnt want to have sex with a stranger again
"let me see you tomorrow"
"fine"
"really?"
"I'll see you at the movies" he laughs and starts to speak in Spanish but i have no idea what he's saying
"what?" i ask him and he laughs again
"let me see you tomorrow"
"no"
"ok, I'll call you tomorrow, come over and we'll go to the movies together"
"I'll think about it, bye" i knew that was the only way to get him off the phone. the tension was growing stronger and i couldnt take it any more, so many things have gone on between us, good, but mostly bad....
"bye"

and that was our conversation, a lot was left out, but you get the point. I'm kinda regretting texting him because that was a part of my life that i had put behind me and was getting over it and was happy without it, i mean i do miss having sex, but i want to have sex with someone i care about a lot more, so that it wont be just having sex...it will be making love. like two bodies making poetry, not a porno.

The one & only
DarkEmo