Stepping Forward

so I'm out of my little depression (the crazy mood swings) and this is just an update. Jamie and i are still friends (even though i still remember how i felt when I'm around him) and we're still going to prom together....as friends. And now I'm just trying to concentrate on school work, because hosa (one of my classes) is finally going to clinical so I'm going to schools and clinics and stuff. Then after calling constantly for the past 3 weeks (at least i think its been three weeks) i finally answered the phone when Dan called and the first thing he says is "whats wrong? I've been calling every day!" so we had a long talk about what i felt and that i want a serious relationship, which i don't think he can give me and someone who i can show my friends to and go on dates, he said he would be my boyfriend and then tried to convince me to come over XD but i said no and i wont have sex with him until i get to know him better (which i should of done from the start) and he gets to know me better, blah blah blah, and he said, ok, then lets go to the park together (somewhere public so i know he wont try anything) and i said I'll meet you at the park, but i wont have sex with you! so he said ok, (the convo didn't go that smoothly but you get the picture) and then after he tried to get me to kiss him over the phone but i always felt like an idiot whenever i did that so i said no and that if everything worked out I'd kiss him at the park, but no sex! so he said, ok I've got to go to work now, i love you. so just to make him feel better, i told him i loved him too, and he said he'd call tomorrow. Even though I'm confused on how i really feel about him, i think that if i talk to him, and tell him exactly what I'm looking for, then maybe it will all work out for the better, maybe Dan is really who i was suppose to end up with (for now) or maybe it will all crash and burn again. One thing i know now, that i didn't know before is, never go into a relationship knowing that you care for someone other then the person your kissing....it can cause all kinda heart break.

The one & only (sometimes dyslexic)
DarkEmo

p.s. told you this one would be cheery