Not Sure What to Title This

So Viere came over today [That's actually the correct way to spell his name] i asked him what time he had to go to work and he said he's actually on his lunch break and stopped by. We hung out in my room and got all cuddly like usual and watched some tv but then we started making out and i realized how much i missed just hanging out with him. Then it got a bit more serious and we ended up having sex again. It didn't hurt like the first time, i mean there was a little discomfort at first but then that went away and i was right as rain....i never really got that saying o_O after when he was getting dressed again (looking rather sweaty might i add) lol, he kept smiling and laughing, i wonder what he was thinking =3 He gets off at five today and said he'll come by again if I'm home and i said I'd be here =] I really like him and I'm just going to go with the flow with things and not go crazy when someone tells us its not going to work, when we just started dating there was a lot of negative feedback from both friends and the Internet -_-' but I'm trying not to let that bother me. It's funny because he's the first black guy I've dated (because i usually take them off the list first) and its working so far with mutual feelings. Kinda makes a girl feel confident! =D

The one & only
DarkEmo

P.S. Little Red, Its kinda hard to believe that I'm falling in love =/ It seems so soon for something like that since i'm so young....and its not in my DarkEmo future MD plan! >=D

Feel Better

So Veir called me tonight and said that he missed me and that he was sorry he hasn't called in four days, and that he's going to try and come over tomorrow before work to see me. I asked him where the hell he's been and he told me that someone broke into his house friday night and since then he's been trying to fix the window (that they broke in from) and get the place back together. so i accepted that as an excuse, because it only happened once, he said he even tried to come to my house today for the party that we were suppose to go to, but by the time he got on his way it was too late so he just went home and called me instead. I was so happy that he called and that my over reaction and negative thinking was just in my head and that nothing bad really happened to him. I really did miss him, and i never really realized it until now, i'm excited to see him tomorrow. This whole week i was angry at him and worried about him at the same time. My mom and Dez are saying its young love, but i don't really think we're in love, but i guess everything looks different from the outside. My mom also said i put my whole heart into it too...so here's my question, Is it wrong to put your all into a relationship? Or should you cut down and keep your heart inside where it belongs?

The one & only
DarkEmo

I can finally go to sleep without being pissed! =] Oh! and i start birth controle this weekend... i'm scared! >_<

Paranoia

I haven't heard from Veir since Friday usually he calls everyday or just shows up. Because of my bad history with relationships i cant help but think the worst and I'm racked with paranoia and jealousy. My mom can even tell that somethings wrong with me. I keep thinking, is it over? is our relationship done before it really started? Is he with someone else? am i that boring?! and I'm just going to the extreme with these questions and I'm pacing and i keep checking the door every few minutes because he never really knocked that hard so i keep thinking I'm going to miss him if he does show up. and i feel like I'm going crazy, plus we had plans to go to my friends birthday party tomorrow and i don't know what I'd do if he doesn't show! And I'm not about to stop by his job because that's going to look so insane ;-; i don't know what to do! I was so happy that i actually found something real and something that looked like it would last and someone i could tell my friends about. We had sex, and he met my parents and we went on dates and he told me about his hopes and dreams, isn't that what normal people do? Do they just stop talking to someone just like that without even a hint or a signal, when i never even did anything wrong? or was everything he did this last month just an act? and if it was why did he stick around so long after, was it just to mess with me? or is this all in my head and I'm actually losing it....i think I'm turning into one of those crazy girlfriends...I'd never say any of this out loud, but i needed to get it off my chest -_- another bump in the road that i call my life

The one & only
DarkEmo

A Few Things

First of all, Little Red, if a guy doesn't like you the way you are then he's not the one. If you think you have to be skinny for him to like you then doesn't that just prove that he's shallow? You need to e-mail me more often so we can talk about this in detail =] you know where to find me.

Now on to the blog. Veir came over yesterday...and today, but parents where unexpectedly home both days, but even so we just chilled in my room and made out, my damned period started today so no sex for a week! XD lmao (I've lasted longer then that so i should be good) He was trying to get a bit more "intimate" today but i had to stop him, but he doesn't know why exactly. I didn't want to just bust out and say "I'm on my period" T_T if i was a guy that would kinda gross me out XD lmao, so he gave me a hicky instead and we played footsy and cuddled, i know -_-' looking back now i think wow, how corny and lame, but during i was like a kid in a candy store. For someone who's never really had much luck with... i was going to say the opposite sex but Chloe was a fuckin wack job....with anyone besides friends, better worded, I'm really happy i found this guy or he found me since i've never seen him and he's been watching me shop at the supermarket. And I'm hoping that we work out for the long run....not marriage though because I want to have either an asian baby or a white baby, thats such a horrible thing to say! >_< back to the point, so all my experiences is just proof that if you wait patiently, and don't jump into things then you'll find that special person, maybe even the one, I'm not saying Veir is the one, but someone out there might have better luck then me =] So be patient people! I'm in a very good mood because I got to spend the day with Veir. I have a week coming up where i don't have to babysit, so that's going to be a sexapalooza for us, lol I just hope everything goes as planned....but then again so far nothing with him has gone as planned and that's how we ended up where we are...sooooo i hope everything is spontaneous and surprising =]

The one & only
DarkEmo

P.S. Veir sounds so cute when he moans =3 enough said!

The Big 100

So Veir came over today again and we just hung out and watched tv, after a while we went to my room again, but just to lay down, I was really tired and he was really into the history channel, lol. We talked about yesterday and then talked about me going on 'the pill' it was really weird, but since we are together these are the kinda stuff you have to talk about eventually. And then after talking I fell asleep in his arms and he fell asleep next to me. That was my first time falling asleep on someone, because I'm always so conscious and stiff about not moving -_-' but with him I just relaxed and dozed off. He had to leave at around 8 because it was his turn to cook dinner at his house. He lives with his brother and his two close friends are always dropping by unannounced too. I really like him, and I like spending time with him. I've never spent time with Dan like this, that's why I didn't really understand why he said he loved me, and I can understand it...but don't 100% believe it when Veir tells me. The longer I'm with him the longer I want us to work out. My mom doesn't really like the fact that he's here so often, and there are somethings that she doesn't like about him. I usually take whatever she says close to heart, but this time I'm trying to just ignore it, because there are lots of relationships where the parents don't like the person, but they are still together and it works out. I'm just hoping that as time goes on she'll dislike him less. Oh and before he left he gave me a huge handful of condoms, he said his boss gave them too him (he does work at publix!) I was a bit surprised, and I guess he could tell because he then said “Well, its better to be safe” and then he looked away shyly, lol, I just tossed them in my night stand and laughed.

The one & only
DarkEmo

P.S. This is my 100th blog...hence the title =]

Didn't Wait....Damn

Vier came over today and we talked and watched tv for a while in the living room, and then we moved to my room and just talked for a while, then we started making out and things got a bit intense and we started the process of having sex. This time with a condom so i didnt really have any objections. What i was worried about was right though. It hurt like hell when he first went in, to the point where i actually jumped back (as much as i could though since i was laying down) and let out a pained moan. He said "I'm sorry baby" and started going slower. we didnt really get to finish though because he had to go to work at 4 and when he saw it was already after four he had to race and get dressed, it was kinda funny because i've never seen him lose his cool before. Before he left he said he'll call later, and asked me to pray that his boss wont fire him, haha. What took me by surprise though is that after the sex i saw that i was bleeding a little, and i was in pain after too when i walked around or used the bathroom. I asked my cousin about it because she's a sex expert and she said it was because he was big and just tell him to go slower next time. I hope my body gets use to it, because that first initial blow was pretty painful -_- but after it did get better. I'm also hoping that this relationship lasts long too. I'm a little irritated that i didnt stay true to my word of waiting two months. btw, he gave me another hicky...i think thats his thing or something

The one & only
DarkEmo

UPDATE: Sore & Tired & Sore

I forgot to mention that V isn't 22, i got his age wrong, he's actually 23 and he turns 24 in September....Not as old as Dan, but still practically an adult who lives on their own and one day start a family blah blah blah...I'm only 18!!!! I just started college!!!!! shouldn't i be dating another 18 or 19 year old who's also in college?! V is going to be done with school soon and is living his life long dream (well once he's done with school he's going to be living his dream) and i'm just starting.... anyway, this is just an update, so its suppose to be short

The one & only
DarkEmo

P.S. My lip is still swollen =/

Sore & Tired & Sore

So apparently me and my boyfriend went out tonight...that's right ladies and gentlemen, darkemo actually has a normal boyfriend. So anyway we went out to the drive in. I left the house at 11:30 and just walked in and its 5:23am. Let me start from earlier in the day. My dad promised to let me borrow his friends car for the day, but he didn't have time to bring it so i ended up getting the car at around 9. i started getting ready for my date at 11, and headed out by 11:30 where i met up with V. we then drove to the drive in movies and watched the ugly truth. it was pretty funny, but about half way through the car battery died so we couldn't hear the movie (at drive in's you listen to the movie on the radio! My first time going as you can see) so we just 'cuddled' as lame as that term sounds in the back and after the movie someone finally gave our battery a jump, them after the movie we drove down to the gas station, because i was thirsty, and then went to this secluded park and sat in the car and just talked, after that, i wont go into detail but lets just say, the windows fogged up, my lip looks like i was stung by a bee -_- (totally unexpected) and i got my first hicky(sp?)....which hurts like hell! Then we almost had sex (many times that night actually) but i stopped it just in the nick of time! >=D and good news girls! he's bigger then Jamie and Dan ;-; (i'm crying because know I'm going to be in world of hurt when we do, do it for the first time. finally when i couldn't anymore of him hitting all weak spots i decided it was time to go. A few words were exchanged but i'm too tired actually explain and a bit sore

The one & only
DarkEmo

i'm staying true to my word to take it slow or at least slower then Dan >=D