Monday, June 1, 2009

First Steps...


So schools done and graduation is Thursday. Even though the thing with Bridget ended before it even started I still find myself writing about her, and I cant seem to get over the fact that nothings there. I feel obsessed and frustrated with the whole situation. I'm still dating Vampire girl, aka Chloe. I have been, in a way, trying to distract myself from Bridget, so that i wouldn't seem so obsessed, but every time I'm with her I'm still thinking about how much I love Bridget. I don't want to hurt Chloe because she's really sensitive so I find myself lying to her sometimes. Its been a few months since we've been dating and she calls me every day so we're really close now, but I still feel like I'm not putting all I can into the relationship. Last night we where talking and it kinda lead to things. It was our first time 'together' if you get what I'm hinting at and after I felt like this would really work out, but then one of Bridget's favorite songs came on and it brought me back to that reality that I've been so desperate to forget. I feel like a dumb ass writing all this out but, this is the real me. The side that no one really sees, the side that goes on in my head while I wear the mask that portrays a care free girl. I'm not care free, I've been dragged into a hopeless romance and broken by its unfortunate end, and the worse part is that I'm dragging someone else into this, someone good who deserves better then the left overs of me. I've always been the kind of person who gets over a crush once I see that nothing is coming, but I cant get over Bridget, I cant forget her, I cant stop writing about her, and its driving me insane... I'm such and idiot. This was never suppose to happen, this wasn't part of the plan.

I've never cried from a broken heart....but now I realize, things can change....

The one & only
DarkEmo

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