Confession

So in a way let me start from the beginning. I met Dan, and we talked for a while, but i slept with him, in a way, just to lose my virginity, and in another way, because i was a horny teenager. Then i ended it there, and a few weeks later i had that drunken night with Jamie and slept with him, and then for some reason i felt more connected to him then i did with Dan, there was more emotions behind it (on my part at least) and we had a background, he wasn't a complete stranger like Dan was at the time, and in the after math, i ended up like him, even though i didn't want to, because i knew nothing would ever come from it, but my heart and mind were battling each other all the time. Finally my friends suggested that i should get a distraction, and a few days later i got a call from Dan and figured he would be the perfect distraction. it was fun for a while, and we even started dating for a while, but i was still thinking about Jamie, and what we could be doing together instead of Dan, and after a while i felt bad....i felt like i was using Dan, which i was in a way, and i felt that a relationship where only one person seems to actually care wasn't going to work out, because it seemed like Dan really did care about me. So anyway i wanted to be with Jamie, so i left Dan, hoping that nothing would stop me, and if anything did happen it wouldn't be cheating, and i hung out with Jamie, and i got a lot of mixed signals. Finally we ended up talking today, about a bunch of stuff, but manly about 'us', and whether or not anything could happen between us, and after a while the final conclusion was no. We're still friends, but i feel like I've given up so much just to try and see if this would work, and I'm still a bit heart broken. I'm use to rejection, but, even with the practice, it still stings. I feel like a fool. I let go of Dan. For nothing.

The one & only
DarkEmo